My Road to Troas

This week has been characterized by God saying "No" to my plans. I did NOT get to order 2 Christmas gifts at a great discount.  I did NOT get to finish a painting when I had hoped to.  I did NOT get to keep my Chiropractor appointment.  That's been a little disappointing, but I am glad I had read Greg Harris's book The Cup and the Glory a couple of years ago.  There's a great chapter in it called "The Road."  From Acts 16, Dr. Harris explains how Paul set out to do several things, (GOOD things), and the Lord stopped/blocked/hindered him from doing so. Instead of Asia and Bythinia to minister, he ended up going on a 500 mile mountainous trek and found himself in Troas.  Early this week I reread Acts 16 in the Bible, and "The Road" chapter in the book.  Concerning his plans, Paul was "forbidden by the Holy Spirit"..."the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them..."  God's plan was for Paul to get to Troas.  That led to Macedonia, and ultimately, the writing of Philippeans!  Here's a few quotes I love from Greg Harris:              

"While a 'no' from God will not tell you where, it will tell you where not."G.H.

"Instead of 'no' highlighting deficiencies and limitations on our part, we can view it as the active work of our heavenly Father who masterminds the paths and timetable we are to travel, as well as the means necessary to bring us there."G.H.

"Two related items the road to Troas will reveal to you: the degree you really trust God, and the degree that you are pliable in His hand."G.H.

"While on the road to Troas, Paul had not the slightest indication of God's positive direction-and neither will we.  The Bible describes this as walking by faith, not by sight.  It is not at all easy, but you will not take many steps on the road without it." G.H.

I don't know what THIS week is going to look like, but I am determined to keep going, making plans, and walking WITH God.  He is here with me, and will lead me with the "NO's" just like the "YES's."

Happy walking along your unique "roads"! 

                                                                                                

A Must Read for Caregivers

Ken and Joni Eareckson Tada

I know it's a very busy time of year, but if you are a Caregiver, or know someone who is, please don't miss this article from Ken Tada.  He has been married to Joni, a beautiful and talented, woman who has been a quadriplegic for 30 years, and his take on commitment, and serving a dependent spouse is fantastic.  This article is straightforward, humble, personal, encouraging, You will be blessed, and challenged. I'm going to include it in my Alz. Resources section as one of my favorites!

Click this link for the article: Caregiving: A Cause for Christ

Click this link for "Joni & Friends" ministry:  http://www.joniandfriends.org/

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Gary with Sarah

I know this is nearly impossible, but:
WHAT IF our children never heard a swear word?
WHAT IF they never saw anything scarey?
WHAT IF they never saw or heard about marital infidelity, or promiscuity?
WHAT IF they never ... (you fill in the blank)

WHAT IF this were true for their whole lives?
WHAT IF they learned from a young age to turn their eyes away from evil and habitually guarded their lips from speaking sinfully?
WHAT IF they could live in a bubble of truth?

Not completely possible I know, BUT IF one day, after many, many years of living in a sinful world, they were to develop Alzheimer's Disease or some other form of dementia, in which the brain's wiring is "crossed" and the neurons are not firing correctly, THEN perhaps there would be LESS frightening images for them, LESS violent responses, LESS profanity, confusion about spousal faithfulness, and accusations about such.

I'm no doctor, and I am NOT casting judgement on anyone who does exhibit these changes in personality/behavior due to their dementia.  It is not their fault.  Before the disease, they WERE able to control their thoughts,  and keep them in the right "category" in their mind prior to their illness.  They WERE able to control their speech and actions.

BUT I'm just thinking as a parent, what would I want to do to help my child, who will one day grow up, live their life, and possibly have dementia one day, to keep their mind saturated with truth, not error.  There are many things on TV, Movies, Music, Video Games, and even gossip, that we must be discerning about.  Just being able to "categorize" it as sin, may not be enough.  Let's do what we can to keep the mind pure, so that if it is attacked with confusion one day, there is less ugliness stored there which can become the material for a horrid existence as well as spill out on others. 

IMPORTANT COMMENTS:
1. For some reason, up to this point, this hasn't been a problem for Gary, even though, prior to his salvation, he had seen much of the "worldliness" I am talking about.  But we know of many who do love Jesus, and who have spent their lives serving him, who, because of their dementia, have had a difficult time with personality and behavior changes.  AGAIN, I am making NO judgment on them whatsoever.  I am only wanting to motivate parents to help their children filter what goes into their mind in the first place.

2. As Christians in a fallen world, we will need to occasionally look evil in the face, for example counseling someone overtaken in a sin, or in defending and protecting the innocent, etc.  There are times when it is unavoidable, but we are cautioned, even then, to be on guard.  Galatians 6:1

"I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten it's grip on me.  A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil." Psalm 101:3-4

Gary's Prayers - since being diagnosed with Alzheimer's in '07

November 19, 2009

"Help me understand what's going on and help me be content even if it's in a mess.  Help me turn it around and so others can see a changed life."

Plan Twice...Paint Once

Some friends were recently asking me about the process of painting with watercolors, compared to other media.  We were comparing them to oils and acrylics, which I've had little experience with, but I thought I'd use my most recent painting to point out some things if you're interested in that sort of thing.  The main thing that makes watercolors difficult is that they are transparent, so you can't put light over dark.  That means you have to leave all the white spaces  and paint around them.  You can use masking liquid, or masking tape (my fav) to "mask" the light areas off, and then paint the dark colors that are next to them.  There were 4 areas in this composition that needed to be reserved as white.

1. The house.  It is mostly a shadowy white.  It did not require masking because it is a big mass and doesn't extend into any "darker" areas.  
2. The chimneys.  In order to paint the blue sky and gray clouds with fluid strokes, and not stroking "around" the chimneys, but "across" them, I blocked them out with little chimney shaped pieces of masking tape. 
3. The little white window dividers.  These delicate lines are not done with white paint, but are white paper left exposed. In this case I freehanded the dark window glass rectangle areas, leaving the white lines within the windows.  I didn't want a perfectly straight line from masking tape so they would have more character. 
4. The clouds.   Skies are tricky, quick, and fun.  In this scene, I wanted to give the sky lots of clouds, so that means less blue than clouds (white with gray).  In order to paint the sky, and not have it look like "color by number," the white parts of the clouds must be "saved" and not covered, but using masking tape makes too "hard" of an edge.  No cloud has a "crisp" edge.  They are fluffy, or whispy, or feathery, or you get the idea.  So I had to work lightly and quickly to "feather in" the blue, across the sky and in between the clouds, but not "hanging out" too long in any one area.  Even this takes careful planning, with some light pencil lines, showing where the clouds will be placed.  Later I went back with the grays of the clouds and gave them shape.  

I love the process of thinking through the composition, lighting, colors, and mood of these home portraits. The paints and brush are the frosting on the cake!

Give Thanks

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Give thanks unto the Holy One

Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"

Let the poor say, "I am rich

Because of what the Lord has done for us"

This song is not hard to understand.  It's easy to remember the lyrics.  It's soothing to my soul.

He's given Jesus Christ, His Son...

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" God did the most unimaginably difficult thing ever in the entire Universe.  Because of that, I am the beneficiary of ALL THINGS for now, and eternity.  I'm given EVERYTHING I need to LIVE and live OBEDIENTLY. (2 Peter 1:3)

Let the weak say I am strong...

2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.'  Most gladly therefore I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."  I have nothing to bring to the table.  No strength, no resources, no character, BUT because of GRACE, I have the Holy Spirit inside me giving me the strength to do what He calls me to do. 

Let the poor say I am rich...

2 Corinthians 8:9 "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."

Rich with Ephesians 1 riches!  Jesus set it all ASIDE so that He could share it with ME!

Here's a link if you aren't familiar with the song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtxmSAqMtDA

Enduring Love

This morning, I had been invited to share our "story" with a ladies bible study at a nearby church.  They had been studying "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things." from 1 Corinthians 13:7.  In particular they asked me to talk about how to love tenaciously, with endurance, as an illustration of "enduring love."  To prepare for my part of the morning, I studied the same passages the ladies had been studying.  I found the study to be challenging and convicting to my own soul as well.  Here's why.

During the teaching time, I learned that this verse, "enduring" is a military term that means to "hold the position at all costs."  This takes courage.  I confess, I do not always feel courageous.  We were asked to choose an example from Scripture who exemplified enduring love.  The obvious choice is Jesus Christ. 

• John 3:16 - This love gave the most precious possession, God's beloved son for me.
• Romans 5:8 - This love sacrificed (to the maximum) for undeserving me.
• Romans 8:35, 38-39 - This love perseveres and is secure through great difficulties and can NOT be removed from me.
• Ephesians 3:17-19 - This love surpasses knowledge and completes me.  It roots and grounds me. 

We were asked to think about loving someone who we used to be close to that is now difficult to love. Gary is not a “difficult” person to love.  Unlike some with Alz. Disease, he is not angry, or upset, or awake all night, etc. But he IS silent, and completely dependent on others for all “activities of daily living.”  He may speak only a few times in a week, and it isn’t always easy to understand what he is trying to say.  Sometimes it is challenging to love with endurance.  It's true for all of us.  It doesn't matter what the cause of the difficulty is.  It can be a wayward child, or unkind spouse, or someone who is the source of great pain.  The reasons may be different, but there are several things that may be universally true for everyone....

• When love is not reciprocated and there’s "nothing in it for me." 
• When there’s no feedback or encouragement to keep going.
• When there’s no end in sight.
• When I'm exhausted.
• When prevented from doing what "I" want
• When Spiritually dry.

So, how DO you love with endurance?  Well, as I said, I was convicted by Jesus' example.  I often fall short. But lately I've been learning 3 things:

• I have to ask God to strengthen me – to understand and know His love – to love others and glorify Him (Ephesians 3:14-21) When I am facing a "giant" of a difficulty, if I try to operate in the flesh, then I respond in the flesh when things don’t work out MY way.  The solution is NOT in my ability to muster up the energy, or reorganize, or plan ahead, or anything I come up with.  Only by really learning and knowing Jesus' love better, am I able to love Gary.  

• I have to ask others for help.  It’s impossible to do it all myself.  When I try to, I get exhausted, anxious and overwhelmed.  I struggle with wanting to be in control of how to care for Gary, and now that he is needing so much more physical care, some of which I am unable to do, so I must entrust him to others.  This is hard for me, but I see it as God graciously helping me to release him in stages.  I can love Gary best by letting others help.

•   I have to remember that Gary is still Gary.  He has a soul that is alive and well and God is continuing to grow him.  He has emotions that feel.  I try to maintain our relationship and respect for him by spending quality time together and sharing my life with him regardless of his lack of responses. This includes asking for his forgiveness if I become impatient, and trying to make decisions in the way he would want. And sometimes, though not often, I still get a look or a touch that lets me know he loves me.

What practical things I do we do to show our love to others?  For us, beyond the daily care...well these are always fun to share.  Here's a few...

• Photo memory books (see blog post called "No time for perfection" 
• Bible verses on 3 X 5 cards (I write out a simple portion of a verse being preached on in church for Gary to hold and read.  I use a sharie pen and write big.  I do the same thing with songs, writing out a phrase or two.  very simple, and big)
• Going for a drive through the mountains, or a stroll through Descanso (Botanical) Gardens, or walk around Bridgeport Lake, or a pastry at Panera Bread.

What struck me, while sharing this morning, as I looked around the room at the ladies, was the fact that everyone there, seemed to be relating, not necessarily to the Alzheimer's disease, but their OWN situations, and the people in their lives that require an ongoing strong love, in the face of difficulty, no matter the cause.  May we all look to Jesus, and beg for strength, never forgetting that He understands our weakness and wants to empower us "according to His great riches in glory." (Eph 3)

Watercolor Journals - Avast, Ye Hearties, Yo-Ho!

I must admit I really like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies!  Maybe because we got to visit the Florida Keys a few years ago, maybe it's the color of the water and the scenery, maybe it's the ride at Disneyland, which was always my favorite!  I love solving (shall I say, "trying to solve") puzzles too, hence the fun of finding a treasure map.  Remember the pirates in Swiss Family Robinson?  They got "creamed" by the entire Robinson clan.  How about the one in The Count of Monte Christo?  He turned out to be an asset!   And everyone remembers the endearing Long John Silver in Treasure Island.  Why are pirates so "loveable" anyway?  They were bad dudes! I think raising 2 daughters, I kind of missed out on some of the "boy adventures" but now, thanks to those 2 girls, we have 6, count em, 6 grandsons! So now I have multiple reasons to talk pirates, cowboys, bull riding, bugs and military aircraft.  I got kind of lost in this painting, imagining finding a treasure map, following the clues to the island with the big red X accompanied by a beautiful bird who makes funny comments and worrying a little about what might be in the kegs!  "By the powers, it be a good thing thar be a dinghy aboard so me matey, Derek, can be gettin from the ship to yonder island to find the booty over thar!  

If you want to see more of these "Watercolorful Name" paintings, click the ETSY link to the right.